Don't watch Lifetime Movies

After watching two (yes, I’m admitting that I watched TWO) Lifetime original movies this weekend, I’ve come under the impression that they’re not good for moms, people who might become moms, or really just humans in general.

I suppose I should first tell you about the two movies…

The first one was called ‘Hush’ and starred Tori Spelling (DONNA MARTIN! LOL). Basically, Tori and her doctor hubby are having problems trying to conceive, so they’ve been going to the same fertility clinic for a few years. After moving back to his hometown, Tori unknowingly befriends some chick her hubby had gotten preggers ten years ago (they ended up having an abortion because he thought they were “too young”). Well, ex-girlfriend is CRAZY and ends up going to the fertility clinic (posing as Donna Martin… er, Tori) and gets preggers with Tori and hubby’s baby!? WTF? Then it basically turns crazy, with people getting killed, accusations of infidelity and murdered cats… But in the end, Tori and hubby end up with baby (and ex-girlfried gets killed during the intense fight scene).

The second movie was called ‘Dead at 17’ and is basically about how shit starts to go wrong after four high school guys hire a stripper to perform at a private party… The stripper dies, and then they all go through a bunch of stuff (one of them ends up being murdered by his so-called friend) after they decide (not unanimously) to hide the body/evidence instead of going to the cops.

(I hope you weren’t planning on watching any of those movies, LOL.)

So, as I was watching these movies (which are not unlike every other movie on Lifetime), I started to think about they surely breed paranoia, especially in the network’s targeted audience… I mean, they’re fun (sometimes) and all, but dayyyyyyyyyamn! I’m worried enough about everyday life - I don’t need to have my mind permeated with such horrible thoughts and ideas! They really seem to play to a woman’s/mother’s/etc. worst fears (that your child could be murdered, or that your husband’s psycho ex-girlfriend could try to take over your own family and try to kill you and everyone else you love).

So, remember, kids… Don’t watch Lifetime movies. Unless you’re not the worrying type (which is probably no woman I know, haha). Maybe this is why I always end up taking 2-3 year breaks between my Lifetime movie binges. Now I need to move on to something more substantial… like Gossip Girl. ;)